


Plotless Catharsis

by panda_hyung



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Ms Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:32:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9193484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panda_hyung/pseuds/panda_hyung
Summary: Life with no goal. Just a mere Catharsis. When he came to the house, everything was a plotless static life."Was falling in love with you also part of that important memory?" -Jeon, WW. (2019).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soonwoonet Fanfest 2017 - Supernova entry #HappySoonwooDay !!!
> 
> A big HUG AND KISSES to my bae [ @potatthoe ](https://twitter.com/potatthoe?s=09) for inspiring me to write this. Also my artist DEAN!!! pls do check out her [ gfx ](http://jeonbaragi.tumblr.com/post/155372170970/jeon-wonwoo-trying-to-figure-out-an-enigma-that-is) and [mixtape](http://jeonbaragi.tumblr.com/post/155372177985/of-the-feelings-never-told-a-soonyoungwonwoo)!~~enjoy❤

PLOTLESS CATHARSIS  
[원순]  
ms. peregrine’s home for peculiar children - Alternate Universe

 

* * *

 

 

I.

“First rule: do not run in the hall. I suppose you won’t and old enough to understand why.” She tipped the watering can over one flower pot.

“Second rule: you may explore all the places in this loop, but—don’t make troubles like Jihoon, though he doesn’t do much except fighting with everyone, Chan, or even Seungkwan.” She swirled her body around and smiled at him. “Or you will be punished.”

He followed every step wandering around the garden. It was beautiful, except he was a bit allergic to pollens. Many times he tried not to sneezed in front of the lady every time the wind blew and spread the flower pollens all over his clothing. “Third rule; know who you be friends with.” Wonwoo halted and dumbstruck. “So I can’t be friends with just anyone in the house?”

“No, I mean the normal people. You can just be friends with everyone in this house but not just random people in the town.”

“Oh, alright. Is that all?”

She turned around back and looked at him. The male was pretty tall with slightly pale skin and looked very much like his father; a little bit dull and boring. “You wrote it down?” She lifted an eyebrow in question to the male, both his hands hold a small notebook and pen to wrote down all the simple rules of the house. There was an awkward silence for a while before Wonwoo tried to explain his habit to the house lady. “Ah right, I forgot. I’m sorry.” She stood close to him and watched him putting up his notebook.

“Knows everyone’s peculiarity.” He beamed, hardly could process all the last rule—or more like his task. He barely got an explanation from his father about the house. Though, he knew all about the peculiar children and bits of stories about them. He was aware they were in a loop, he would never grew old while he was in the loop but his age will catch up with the time once he left the border. He wrote it down all of them in his small notebook.

But somehow he felt like it wasn’t all about the house. There were supposed to be more about it, more complex, and maybe giving him more headache. He was curious but also skeptical, he didn’t want to make any wrong move that will make him lose all the trust from the children and Ms. Park. After all, he was told to go to this house for a reason.

He was about to throw another question but she already walked down the stone path and stepped out of the garden. Another shrieks of children at the back yard heard from his place. He knew it will be hard for him to adapt, with the fact the children in the house weren’t just normal children. They were children with peculiarity. “Right, finding out everyone’s peculiarity will be the first task, eh?”

❀

Jeon Wonwoo, 25 years old. His father died two years ago left him a request in his last breath. He asked Wonwoo for a favor and with all his heart he agreed, which he regretted years after. He never knew his father was an orphan child. Never seeing his grandfather or grandmother wasn’t a big deal since he was young. He was contented just with the presence of his mother’s family. His father was also well liked by his mother’s family so nothing to be concerned at all.  
  
When he found out about the orphan he was half regretting his decision. But to respect the death, he must do what his father asked him. The place wasn’t no where easy to reach, it took him at least 2 years to found the place and later, luckily, Ms. Park sent him a letter.

He was entirely aware of his father’s peculiarity but they said not every generation of the family will have a peculiar child, and assumed he wasn’t the one. There was no way he would own any kind of peculiarity with a disorder he owned. That alone troubled him enough in life, another peculiarity will just bring another misfortunes.

“Who’s that again—ah yeah, Ms. Park Soo Ae, Ms. Park Soo Ae, Ms. Park Soo-“

“Hi?” At first it was confusing but then he looked at him clearly, the male in front of him had a blue-almost-grey dyed hair which was uncommon for any Korean, in particular someone who was from sixty years ago. “Oh, hi?” He frowned slightly then loosened up the muscles as he saw the soft smile the other gave him. He was sure the other was greeting him but he was instead putting his attention to other things. “You’re…the new guy?”

“Yes, I am. Hello, I’m-“

“Jeon Wonwoo! Right?” Wonwoo chuckled in amusement. His brain wondered on what kind of peculiarity the male had, maybe mind-reading? “Mind-reading isn’t my peculiarity. I know your name because Ms. Park kept talking about you for the past 3 days.” He giggled and casually dragged him inside.

“Coffee? Or tea?”

“I’m fine with tea.” The shorter smiled widely and hopped through the hall and directed him to the kitchen. “Alright, a tea. We—I mean, Ms. Park, Mingyu, and Seungkwan bought this jasmine tea at the town yesterday and it’s really good!” Wonwoo just smiled at the latter’s long story of how they went to the village by carriage Mingyu made by himself and he couldn’t come with them because of his fever. He watched the male kept talking and honestly, he enjoyed it. He didn’t yet know his name but he can guess the name was just as pretty as the person in front of him.

Scratch that. He was still a kid, it was inappropriate for him to say about the younger male like that.

“I’m 20 years old anyway. So we’re pretty much the oldest here.”

Wonwoo choked on his tea accidentally burnt his tongue. “Are you sure you’re not a mind reader?”

“Nope.” They giggled on nothings and small chattering with a cup of tea on their hold, immersed in the room bathed by light warmth of sunlight just like that. It felt incredibly comfortable and natural for him to talk and drowned in the random topics they came up with for the past 2 hours. It was surreal and he was amazed by how things work in static unlike his past life.

Somehow when they talked he knew they have a very different personality but weirdly matched well. Soonyoung was a bright person unlike him. The younger male talked a lot more than expected, though, sometimes he would halted his words and beamed for awhile then blushed as their eyes met. “I talk too much, didn’t I?” Wonwoo then would shake his head and asked the younger to continue telling funny stories about his static life in the loop.

“Was it ever boring in the loop? I mean you keep rewinding things everyday and even know when will the first leaf fall? That’s crazily boring to me.”

Soonyoung shot him a judging—cutely—look at him. “Well, from what Yunho said you were such a boring person. So why would you think living in a loop is boring?” Wonwoo squinted his eyes, rolling his eyeballs at the words expecting it would come after him soon or later. Of course, telling about his entire life to the people in this house was part of the plan, his father must have sent them a lot of letter to this place and led him curious to know the content of the letters.

“That’s the thing my father never knew about me.” He defended. “Staying in my room for a whole day is not boring. Have you heard about book is the door to knowledge? I read books and traveled with my imagination,” he flicked an eyebrow and smiled slyly. “And that’s not boring,”

He noticed the glistening look from the younger male. “You read? Like a lot of books?” he said in amazement. The younger gasped and smiled widely at him in awe. “You never, read?”

“I hate reading, though I can read. But I love bedtime stories! Ms. Park used to tell me stories before I sleep but she stopped as I grow up-“ he paused for a while, the look on his eyes was a bit blank but he snapped back to reality. “Yeah, she never did after my fifteenth birthday.”

II.

Jeon Wonwoo had his reason to come to this place. He knew it will not be an easy task but he must ready for whatever he would be facing off with. “Your job here is easy. You won’t do much unless you were needed I guess?” Ms Park was sitting on her chair, knitting long scarf with pink and blue threads on the small bowl next to the sofa. She looked very relaxed when the tip of her fingers grazed against the threads and tied, then insert the needles onto the balls of threads and formed it into another part of the scarf.  
  
“What does ‘protecting the children’ was supposed to mean?”

She chuckled. “It’s nothing big. Sometime the children would make a mess at the village and the deputy would come and ask the kids to clean up their mess.” Wonwoo frowned and his mouth gapped. “It’s baby sitting right.” He gave her a blank expression as she cheekily grinned at him. “Well…”

The door bell rang and pretty much answered his curiosity. Ms. Park smiled with a light giggle as she darted her attention to the source of the sound. “Can you take care of that?” She gestured him to open the door. A man in his late 40s, old dark pants with slight ripped on the knees and casual, fishing clothes appeared before him.

“Is Ms. Park here? I need to talk to her.”

“You can just talk to me. She has something to do right now.”

The man didn’t look pleased and tapped the tip of his shoe in annoyance as he looked at Wonwoo. “Those kids did it again.” Wonwoo looked outside at the two children behind with wet and mud bathed clothes and another child with sleek clean clothing.

Wonwoo sighed, it hadn’t been two weeks since his arrival and troubles came after him like daily chores. “What is it today? Seungkwan, Chan, and Jihoon? Jihoon why is your clothes not covered with mud?”

Seungkwan pouted hardly and stomped his small feet to the oak tree tiles under him. “Jihoon pushed us to the mud when we were trying to steal the pers—“ Wonwoo snorted and sighed once again hearing the excuse.

“Seungkwan you weren’t suppose to tell Wonwoo-hyung that!”

“Sorry! But Jihoon is so annoying and I can’t help that.” He glared at his orphan brother next to him. Jihoon was busy with himself, looking very much clean from head to toe and giving him an amused look as he watched Wonwoo came down from the stairs and fetched them.

The older male smiled awkwardly with a small chuckle and opened the door wide open as he shot glare at the three children. “I’m very sorry sir, my brothers must have troubled you. I will not let this ever happen again,” he paused and watched the children step into the house making sure no one was left behind, “and make sure they all grounded so they won’t try to steal your persimmons anymore.”

The three children looked at him with betrayed look couldn’t came up with other excuses. The farmer heaved a breath as he kept a glare at the children and put his cap back on. “It’s okay, they didn’t manage took my persimmons anyway. Just make sure they won’t do it again.” Then he left the house terrace and walked off the yard.

Wonwoo turned his attention back to the children, putting both of his hands on his chest and thought of a good punishment for the three children. It was his first time taking care of kids and never had siblings before, to add he never got grounded by his parents even when he was a kid. He was a bit lost but maybe an idea of making them do chores wasn’t a bad thing. “Hyung, I will get grounded?” Seungkwan asked.

“That’s such a rhetorical question, Seungkwan.”

“Hyung, What’s rhetorical?” Chan looked up to the older male. “It means you’re stupid.” Jihoon snickered as he proudly looked at Wonwoo.

“No, that’s not what it meant Jihoon.” The lad’s smile turned upside down at the answer. “And try not to insult your brother, that’s a bad thing.”

“So we won’t get grounded right?” Seungkwan looked at him with puppy eyes, honestly, Wonwoo was weak to children in particular someone with lots of cutesy like Seungkwan. He tried to resist and for the past two weeks he managed to control that. “No, all the three of you will be punished and I will tell Ms. Park.” Jihoon’s eyes went wide at that. His mouth gaped in disbelief and pupils dilated. “But I didn’t do anything! Why would I get punished too?”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes much to his amusement. “You pushed them to the mud and you will be punished for that. Now go to your room and get clean.”

III.

There were times when he got lonely. Being the oldest in the house wasn’t fun to him but he was glad there were at least Soonyoung and another person in the house, Kim Mingyu, though their age gap was pretty wide despite the younger male’s large built but it didn’t change the fact he had at least two new friends to accompany him in the large house.

He knew and was aware there were too many secrets hidden inside the house. He didn’t want to make himself overly curious but there were times he wanted to know some of the unknown facts that he thought he should have known. Like, “Why does Soonyoung locked his room for days?”

Somehow his question to Mingyu made him spill the soda from his mouth and stained his white shirt. “Eww, man, disgusting.” Wonwoo scrunched his nose and wiped off the spilled soda on his shirt. “That—I don’t know. He is always like that since the first time he came and Ms. Park told us not to ask anything about it.”

“When did he come to this house?”

“When he was 15? I remember that was a week after my birthday then he joined us. He was very quite back then, but I was surprised he is actually a loud person.”

It did bother him for some reason, knowing he spent at least a whole day watch over mostly the trio kid—Seungkwan, Chan, Jihoon—make sure they didn’t mess with anyone’s property again and he would always be at the backyard, sitting on a bench while reading some book he brought from his old place. Soonyoung then would came and asked what did he read and they ended up having a very long but indulging talk about the book. He always got excited when Soonyoung asked him to tell about the book and he liked how the male was a very good listener.

But there was one time he woke up and realized Soonyoung never came at the same exact time. He usually came after feeding the stray cat crossing the path near their house, but that day, he never came. He wondered if Soonyoung was sick or he went somewhere without telling him yet it was a lot more suspicious to him when Ms. Park didn’t want to tell him about it.

_“Soonyoung? I suppose he is just tired. His peculiarity sometimes tires him out and he will sleep the whole day. Don’t worry he is fine.”_

“Honestly I never know what his peculiarity is.” Mingyu spoke out, breaking the silence between them. His fingers was busy fiddling with the rubik cube on his hold—Wonwoo’s, but he decided to give it to the younger male because he really liked it—and frowned. Wonwoo looked at him, observing the dark haired male’s expression, it was unreadable so he wasn’t sure if he said that to show his curiosity or simply told him not trying to found out more about the matter because he will never get anywhere.

“He never showed it off too. Unlike me or the other children.”

“…but he has peculiarity?”

Mingyu gave him a bizarre look as if his statement was not something commonly heard in the house. “Of course? Only people with peculiarity that can enter the loop!” Wonwoo’s eyes widened in surprise at the younger and confused him even more. He was very clear with the fact he didn’t have any peculiarity but hearing the new discerned truth brought another to another perplexing understandings inside his head. “W-Wait what? Only the peculiars? You mean I’m also a peculiar?”

“Um..yeah? You don’t know about that?”

Wonwoo halted and stall. “That doesn’t make sense. I don’t have any, my dad also said so. There’s no way I-“

“Then Ms. Park must have done something to let you in? From what I know Ymbrynes are making loops only for the peculiars not normal human.” They looked at each other for awhile, it did make sense on some parts although didn’t entirely explain why she let him in, but maybe that was because he was the son of his father who once lived in the house. Despite, he still wondered why would Ms. Park chose him to carry the burden instead of other person that may more capable. “I guess, that make sense.”

 _For now_.

  
IV.

The day was bright and the weather was very nice for a long walk, but his legs gave out since three days ago. His body drained out from energy and barely could even lift his body from the soft mattress. Soonyoung groaned and heaved a loud heavy breath, he was particularly bored. His head was aching from the constant heavy labour work; doing this and that he hated math and calculation, also to add reconstructing, assembling—he was very tired and needed a break.

He could hear the children in the backyard running around—Seungkwan’s loud scream and Jihoon’s shrieks every time the other child snatched away his ball, then Chan would run to the house and snitched to Ms. Park about their fight. “Chan why would you tell her!” Seungkwan scolded but he could tell Ms. Park was already outside at the yard with them rolling her eyes like they would popped out soon from too much reflexes on her rectus muscles. She wasn’t on the older side along with some senior Ymbrynes but neither on the very young line ones, yet he was chuckling at the thought every time she would come back to the living room popping her body on the couch while sighing,

“I’m too old for taking care of these kids. But I’m more worried of Seungkwan and Jihoon making a mess without my concern than people disgracing them for their peculiarity. They’re too haughty as kids.”

“I’m not even three months living here but I feel like my life span shortened by ten years because of them.” Wonwoo replied, sighing together with the mother of the house. Somehow Soonyoung agreed on that and chuckled as he imagines Wonwoo’s drained and reddened face from the sun heat and lost of fatigue.

He could hear the rest of the chats, the children were too loud outside his room. Soonyoung closed his eyes for awhile and was about to drifted to sleep, before a light tap on his glass window. Suddenly he lost all the drowsiness, curiosity got the best of him and, notably, forced himself to stood up from the thick comforting duvet. He barely can see what was going on outside until he reached the rear of the window. “Wonwoo?” He whispered.

The jet-black haired male sat on a thick tree branch near their house, reaching out closely to his room window. He smiled, in some way, forgot all the train of thoughts inside his head. No restrictions neither awareness; he approached the male. Fingertips gliding to the knob and opened it by bit. “What are you doing there? It’s dangerous!” Wonwoo smiled and jumped to the small balcony of his room. He had a book—he had never saw before—on his hold and a sack of persimmons. “Want some?”

“Sure, thanks. Is that a new book? I never saw you read that.”

“Yeah, it’s a new one and the oldest one in my room. I never read this before but I think I will finally read it.”

They stood there for awhile. Soonyoung took the plastic bag and put it on the desk near the post lamp in his room. His hand grabbed on one of them, wiping it out to his loose pajamas trouser and bite on it. “Come in.” He casually sat on his bed and watched the awkward lanky man behind the window. “Ah, thanks.”

Wonwoo wasn’t sure where he should seat, it was too awkward. He never went to anyone’s bedroom except his parents’ and Soonyoung was obviously his first. It was cozy, nicely decorated with old and classic mahogany furnitures, nothing fancy and looked almost like a simple cottage near the lake owned by his uncle. The single desk at the corner with nothing but lamp post and dried out flowers showed pretty much the owner’s personality—he remembered Soonyoung did not like reading, but he liked it when someone told him stories.

“Sit here.” Soonyoung tapped the space beside him on the mattress. “Uh, there?” the younger male chuckled. “Of course, don’t be like that. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

_Ah, right they were friends and friends weren’t awkward with each other. How did he forget that?_

He walked closer to the bed and Soonyoung rolled his body comfortably on the mattress. He gave some space for Wonwoo to lay on, just maybe the male preferred to read while laying down. Wonwoo watched the younger carefully as Soonyoung on his stomach and looked up to him, “Lay here beside me. Just be comfortable, I’m fine with people invading my personal spaces.” and followed by a small laughter from him. Wonwoo twitched his eyebrow at the remark, feeling slightly offended by it. “Well, I’m sorry for not enjoying my personal space to be—invaded.” He smirked and laid on the mattress, stretching his legs snuggling his back to the thick pillow on his back, resting to the head post. _His bed cover smelled nice._

❀

It took him at least several hours to realized he had been staying in the room for too long. He heard the children’s chirps and noises of metals and glasses right below him, through the thin layer of wooden tiles underneath his feet. He looked to the window and sun had set not awhile ago, the sky turned orange and gradated to purple then blue and slightly a hint of black.

“Oh, dinner’s in 10 minutes.” He muttered, closing his book. “You’re not going?” He looked at his side, Soonyoung was fast asleep, little snores came out from his nostrils with the reddish pouty lips moved and stretched. His heart skipped a beat, looking at the exquisite sight. It was very _exquisite_ ; those long lashes, small slips, chubby pale cheeks, and soft and calm expression of his—gorgeous.

“What the fuck, Jeon Wonwoo get your shit straight.” As he looked to the other side, distracting his thoughts and mentally slapped himself. Having such a thought about his own friend—growing feelings for the new friend was very wrong but right at the same time. Yet, he didn’t want to make the same mistake ruining his friendship because of his selfishness whom craving for love and lust. The last time it happened, that was very bad and wrong; it left scars and he didn’t want to experience it for the second time. _“Not when you seem will never like me back.”_

He came down from the second floor, tiptoeing as he saw the dinner had started, noticing Ms. Park wasn’t at the room from the slight slit of the door to the dinner room. “Where have you been, Mr. Jeon?” Ms. Park didn’t look amused with both her arms rested on her chest while seating at the very front of the dinner table. He pulled out a smudged smile and sighed, putting up his book as a defend. “Reading. I’m sorry for coming late I didn’t realize it passed dinner time.”

She coughed and let him slide off from delaying the dinner time. “Okay, just sit. Next time, don’t do this again, understand Mr. Jeon?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

  
V.

Wonwoo saw Seungkwan stood there in front of the new clock wall. He knew it was wrong to buy the clock wall but Ms. Park insisted the furniture will complement their house. He stood there nervously as he watched Seungkwan was standing still in front of the clock until it stroke 1 am in the morning. The loud brass sound gave him goosebumps and the nerves inside him stretched and contracted giving him jolt of chills.

The younger lad didn’t budge not even one inch. He got worried as it passed ten minutes since the lad stood there.

He sang. _“I will be chasted and the rel-“_

“Seungkwan!”

His breath hitched and he fell down to the ground. The hard wooden tiles were cold yet the atmosphere of autumn night was even colder. Wonwoo was stunned, standing still behind the wall he leant to and watched another figure came out of the room. Ms Park stepped out barefoot and without care the tip of her toes were turning blue from the cold tiles. “Ma’am?” His voice came out hoarse when Ms Park held him close to her chest. She rocked him back and forth, her voice trembled from fear; which he never thought of—an Ymbryne were brave women, that was what he thought until he saw Ms. Park cried at Seungkwan that night.

“This has to stop.” She whispered, loud enough for the other person behind the wall heard her. “What happened? How come you sleep walk all the way here?” Tears brimmed at the tip of his eyes as he tried to remember. His heart beat two times faster as the cuts of memories rushed inside his mental graphic at the back of his head. “Soonyoung-hyung, we talked before sleep then he—“

“He did what? Please tell me dear, because you weren’t supposed to go to his room!” Wonwoo shuddered at the last sentence. They weren’t supposed to go there? Why? All the questions about the house were pilling up more inside his head, barely can put it into chunks of memories and he struggled with the sorts of weird assumptions. He was a coward and he knew he didn’t belong here. He hated too much secrets put before him and it started to scare him even more.

A light tap brought him back to sanity and he turned around. Mingyu’s taller figure looked more intimidating within the dark. He sighed and drooped a slight smirk as they playfully hit each other’s arm and hushing to make sure Ms. Park won’t notice their appearance as it passed the bed time. “Bro, you were supposed to be asleep! What are you doing there?” Mingyu walked beside him all the way to the stairs and followed him to the second floor.  
  
Wonwoo would rather not told Mingyu what actually happened down there but he can see the male was very curious and he seemed to be a trustworthy person. They were close since the first time he came to the house and it wasn’t a lie that they grew to trust each other at the time passed. “Something happened to Seungkwan after he visited Soonyoung at his room.” Abruptly the younger was taken back. His face color drained and his expression was extremely uncomfortable.

“Shit man, Seungkwan did?”

“Yeah…why?”

“Because we aren’t allowed to see him, especially this month his phase is back!”

Wonwoo stalled and frowned. _What phase?_

VI.

Sometime it may be a headache to took care of the children; they were noisy, fought a lot, ran a lot—endless energy that sometimes he wondered where they all got those fatigue to ran all day under the sun heart, but scratched that, they were peculiar kids but after all just like any other kids who loved playing on the field with friends, unlike him.

It did explained why his skin was sort of pale, in unhealthy way. He ate a lot though, but he still look like a dead person and even worse when he was sick. So maybe, it wasn’t a bad idea and was a good decision to took the duty. It forced him to stay outside more than he usually did at home. It may wasn’t as hot in summer like mostly did in Seoul, as they were placed in a pretty much high ground and colder side of the country but the sun heat in the morning to noon was enough for his skin health.

“You look better each day, I see.” Ms. Park praised, he did gained some weights and looked a bit buff compare his state the first time he came to the house. He may be in the loop but probably it didn’t effect his body stimulation. “The kids give me pretty hard times I guess that counts as exercising.” He chuckled. “How many laps?”

“Eh?”

“How many laps did the kids make you run?”

“5 laps? I almost die from exhausted when Seungkwan and Jihoon started to chase each other.” Ms. Park laughed, her face was brighter somehow but she was thinner. He was a bit worried but she said she was on diet. Despite her brighter complexion she smiled more than she used to from six months ago, they grew closer and her existence grew in him. She became an important figure—a replacement to his died mother.

Later, he was busy reading his book. His reading time increased when he moved into the house and that was one of the best thing he could list on aside from his regret. He didn’t mind about his regrets anymore, this kind of life cycle, was what he always wanted from the start. Even when he thought his job wasn’t that impactful, he became fond of it. He found a point when baby sitting the children wasn’t anything as complicated and a ball of trouble to him anymore. Their life after all was static, he memorized the pattern as easy as flipping the back of his hand.

It was peaceful, somehow like those in self-improvement book he read once back then when he was younger. Reading a book companied with laughters of children outside was the true definition of peaceful. It was peaceful when he knew those people in his life was still there with him. The children’s laughters were the sign of no bad day and bad weather. Their fights were the sign they were family and will protect each other. And in some way it calmed him down in a particular way he will never grasp the concept of—he never experienced such a feeling, it was surreal but in a very good way.

“Hyung why do you always read?”

A voice startled him. He closed his eyes for awhile from the slight jumped in his chest and looked to his side. “You surprised me, Chan. Oh God.” Chan laughed looking at the older’s reaction. Wonwoo had been an amusing person to Chan. A different kind of man, brother, and older person figure. Mingyu, Soonyoung, Ms. Park were so far in his entirely loop life that had been able to show him so many incredible things and told that nothing to think about the world outside the loop, their static life alone was interesting and indulging enough.

But Jeon Wonwoo showed him a different side as a figure of older brother. Unlike his orphan mother and two older brothers Jeon Wonwoo was different. He was calm and composed, slightly intimidating on their first meeting but he loosen up with him and was actually very friendly. To add, Wonwoo was someone who came from outside the loop. He brought so many interesting stories from outside, fairytales, and folk fantasies he listened to before sleep were pieces of dust compare to the older’s bizarre and extraordinary stories.

“Is reading fun?” He asked. Wonwoo gave him a soft smile and showed off the cover of his book. “Of course, that is why I can sit all day reading books.”

“How does it feel?”

Wonwoo was slightly taken back by the question. Lee Chan, somehow to him appeared to be a very interesting child. He had a high curiosity to new things and wanted to know everything. He always asked him a lot of things expecting the older could answer and satisfy his needs. Lee Chan was a smart kid but somehow his knowledge wasn’t that much yet compare to the other orphans. _“It’s okay, you can learn and ask, I will tell you everything.”_ Wonwoo did say that and Chan started to ask questions to him, which was very cute.

“Feel?” It wasn’t the right word but he understood where the younger was heading to. “I feel happy sometimes, maybe sad, or angry, lots and lots of emotions.” Chan’s eyebrows slatted down and his lips jutted out. “You’re feeling sad? Then is it a bad book? Mom Park said we should be happy all the time and not to be sad. Hyung shouldn’t be sad because Chan is here!” Wonwoo looked at the child for awhile, his eyes showed a glint of sadness but proudness at the same time.

_This child is too pure. He is surreal._

Chan, in many ways, grew inside him. There was this urge to protect the child at all cost. This child didn’t deserve to see the outside world; cruel, dark, and horrible truth of the current world. He didn’t deserve that.

❀

It was a rare occasion but sometimes he might kill the time with it. He would sit on the living room folding the towel and other clothes, then Chan would come and helped him. Unlike his other brothers Chan preferred to play inside the house. He said he hate being sweaty and sticky after he play and that meant he had to took a shower after that. The main point was; he hated showering very often. Wonwoo could just chuckled at that, typical kids.

He sometimes would sing when he got bored then rolled on the sofa as he felt tired and let Wonwoo continued the job. But most of the time he would ask Wonwoo to tell him stories, “You haven’t finished your story from last night. What happened after snow princess fall asleep?” Wonwoo halted his movement and recalled the old fairytale, digging inside his long-term memory for awhile.

“The prince came and kissed her. Because of the kiss, she woken up.”

“Is the prince also a peculiar?”

Wonwoo chuckled. “No, it was the magic of love.” Chan beamed, then sat up changing his position as his anticipation rose up. “Magic? Isn’t it also a peculiarity?” The older went silent for awhile, the kid had the point. “It is? Yeah, not everyone can do magic. How about you?”

Chan shrugged. “You don’t know about your own peculiarity?”

“I don’t really understand it. Mom Park said we are slightly different that most peculiar children, people can’t see our peculiarity but were very dangerous.”

It did make sense why the lady asked him to found out. She might have noticed the children have peculiarities, but they were too young to know. Their powers were hidden and that gave him a whole new idea of his own duty.

He was meant to help the children to find their peculiarity.

The child watched his older brother stall and dazed out. He called Wonwoo several times but he didn’t respond. He clicked his tongue and sat in front of the taller male. “Hyung!” Wonwoo snapped back to reality and looked at the much smaller male in front of him. “I think I know my peculiarity but I don’t know if it’s a peculiarity.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sometimes, I can tell when somebody is about to die and a person’s intention when I was in danger. I’m not sure if it’s a peculiarity, but I hope it’s not. I want something like Jihoon’s!”

Wonwoo frowned, telling somebody was about to die was closely similar to fortune telling. It might be counted as a peculiarity but if it did Lee Chan was one of the dangerous child. He was contemplating of the child’s word but ‘die’ was harsh. _Was that possible to have such a peculiarity?_ Had been a question to him since then. He learnt and knew about peculiarity—from Ms. Park’s book—but still hardly can recognized which and which were peculiarity.

He looked back at the younger as he felt a tap on his knees. “Hyung, do you want to know what I see from you?” Come what may, he felt shivers at the back of his spine. His chest somehow thumped louder than a couple of seconds ago, somewhat in a situation he didn’t want to be in but a part of him was curious. He had not yet decide whether it was really the child’s peculiarity, but in what context it would be not? Like Chan said, Ms. Park might sense a very dangerous power within him which led him to take the child in. Just, they never actually saw the young lad unleashed that incredible force.

“You and Soonyoung-hyung, have this different aura to compare to Mingyu-hyung. Your shadow feels different to me, like, they are telling me not to look at them. I’m a bit scared but it’s you so, I guess I don’t have to.”

“Soonyoung and me?”

Chan nodded. “But actually I’m not really close with Soonyoung-hyung anymore. He rarely plays with us for some time…I’m a bit sad.” The light on his face dimmed, his eyes looked sad and Wonwoo understood how he felt. The look of being left behind and afraid of standing alone. “Soonyoung, he is, sick.” He made up some fake reason. “So he can’t play much with you. But hyung will, so don’t worry okay?” The younger looked up to him and the bright smile came back as he nodded furiously.

“Then let’s play hide and seek now! Hyung is the seeker~” He giggled and ran to the second floor as he flailed his arms in the air in excitement. Wonwoo laughed at the sudden mood change, almost couldn’t keep up with the younger’s lifted energy but pushed himself to join the bandwagon. “You better hide well or I will catch you!” He followed to where Chan was running off and acted as a seeker as he was told to.

VII.

It happened again.

This time Wonwoo woke up to the sound of not very quiet footsteps on the hall in front of his room down to the basement. Somehow the younger always led him to this old clock and he got suspicious if it had something to do with all the weird event that kept happening. “Hyung,” His heart jumped at the sudden appearance of Mingyu behind him. They were hiding themselves behind the tall and thick wooden pillar holding up the old basement of the house. “Shit, Mingyu stop surprising me like that.” The younger grinned apologetically at the scolding. “Sorry. It happens again? Seungkwan?”

The older nodded. This time he decided to watch what happened until he finished the whole song. He may didn’t remember it clearly—curse his disorder—but when the clock stroke one and Seungkwan will sing after the brass sound ended, Mingyu reminded him about that. This time Ms. Park was nowhere to be seen and it was almost impossible for her to know one of her son was there.

The event was shallowly encoded and recalled back in a less vividly imagery as the clock brass chimed loudly. They waited for the young lad to start the sacrament and it didn’t took long for Seungkwan’s body shook and horrifyingly trembled as his voice came out of his throat.

_“I will be chasten and released…The sun will rise and the new day will come. The Lord—“_

Both male could feel the foreboding chills through their spine and up to their nerves. Seungkwan looked fragile and in fear, he sanity was long gone and possessed. His dark orbs glistened in a very portent way beckoning the bleakest atmosphere and dropped it to minus degree. It was like an omen summer movie he watched when he was fifteen, Wonwoo shuddered. They should have stopped it from going further but his intrusiveness got the best of him.

The young lad standing before the old clock emitted a loud hoarse shriek like his soul was gripped and pulled out from his small throat. Both the older males couldn’t stand still and watching horrifying sight in front of them. Mingyu was the first to move, tackling down Seungkwan tactfully making sure he didn’t hurt the younger. He was struggling and the shriek got louder, Wonwoo left the basement in hurry to fetched Ms. Park.

“It happened again ma’am! Hurry!”

Ms. Park care no less and jumped out from her bed in her old pajamas and rushed to the basement followed by the younger male. They sweated despite the cold weather and it more surprised as they were greeted by Mingyu. Scratches of struggles showing on his skin, skin almost ripped, his face was as if clawed by the child. Seungkwan was getting weaker as he lost his energy from too much struggling. Ms. Park came to him and calmed him down, the child soothed by the madam’s warm embrace as she kept the lad composed and stay sane.

“Something was wrong. We should get rid of this ma’am.”

“I know. Maybe we should, it’s dangerous to have sacred matter in the house. Seungkwan’s pecualirity isn’t stable yet and he barely can control himself.” She looked up at the two men, “can you help me tomorrow?”

“No problem ma’am, me and Mingyu will take the clock out by morning.”

“Thank you boys, you can go back to sleep now. I will tuck Seungkwan back to his room.”

❀

 

“Hyung…” Jihoon was sitting on his bed with horrified look. His lips were pale and sweats glistened all over his body, trembling in fear. “Is Seungkwan okay? H-He is not hurt isn’t he?” Wonwoo sighed, massaging his temple trying to let his brain slowly processed the madness and non-cohesiveness of each outlandish event that kept happening for the past months. He knew his life be would very much peculiar but he never knew it would be as complicated.

Mingyu come to Jihoon and hugged him tight. His large frame lifted the younger from his bed and patted his back as Jihoon started sobbing in fear. He knew this will turn out worse than it seemed. They forgot about Jihoon’s peculiarity for awhile which was such a stupidity of them. “He could hear through the whole house is the problem. I’m afraid he was no longer safe here.”

“You mean he must leave the house? It won’t happen hyung! It will be a lot more dangerous for him if the he is out of Ms. Park’s look-out the hollows might find him.”

“Then you and Ms. Park move out along with Jihoon and Soonyoung. I will take care of Seungkwan and Chan. I have a gut this isn’t about the clock, it wasn’t just Seungkwan but Chan has been acting weird lately even before we took in the old clock.”

Mingyu snorted mockingly. “You don’t even know your peculiarity how’s that will help? Hyung, stop being stubborn you’re just putting yourself in a whole lot danger.” It did passed through his mind once but somehow fluted his anger away and widespread with the temper he held in for the past days.

“THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? IT’S MY JOB TO PROTECT THEM!” He heaved heavy breathes, voice loud enough to led Ms. Park to the room they were in and Jihoon wailed as he was frightened by his yell. Mingyu threw him dagger look and rocked the younger male on his hold back and forth to calm him down but no avail. Jihoon cried louder as the fear was eating him up and Wonwoo’s anger made it worse. “Great Job, Hyung you made it worse.”

“What’s going on here boys? Why’s Jihoon crying?” She walked in to the room and reached out her arms as he clasped Jihoon on her hug. The younger calmed down, with sobs escaped from his thin lips. His eyes were shaking in fright and avoid as much eye contact with both older males. The tension was painfully forced out negative power and wasn’t showing any good sign. Ms. Park wasn’t pleased and clearly showed on her expression. “I suggest you two work this out or I will have to give both of you a good lesson tomorrow morning for disturbing Jihoon’s sleep. You got that?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good, now go back to your own room. It’s late.” 

 


	2. Chapter 2

VIII.

 

He didn’t realize it until Ms. Park told him so. It had been two years since he lived in the house. Weirdly, he now could remember the whole pattern of his static life in the loop. From the children’s pranks to the complaints from the people around them to folding the laundry and telling stories to Chan every night before they went to bed. Might be, living in the loop did help him to improve and buried down his disorder.

It had been a concern to him, the disorder he had was a burden. After the accident, his life turned upside down—the hard burning asphalt against his face, the painful scratches and terrible blackout was the least he could remember. Though, the pain was still there when he was half bald and a deep surgery cut across his scalp poignantly gave him a shot to his confidence straight down to the hell’s pit.

He got bullied since then, not exactly, but it felt like one. It was sad that everyone unknowingly avoided him (or the other way? He couldn’t remember). The best part was; he didn’t remember them, the only people from the school he remembered was his classmates but later they were no more classmates after the graduation and he moved to the southern of Seoul.

 _“Anterograde Amnesia,”_  he murmured. Soonyoung was sitting next to him on the bench at the backyard as usual. Nothing different and just like their routine. But today Wonwoo didn’t read, his book was left alone on his lap and he ended up telling unflattering stories about his past life. He honestly hated it but he wanted the other male to know. He trusted him. “What kind of disorder is that?”

Wonwoo let out a heavy sigh and looked at the younger. Their eyes met and Soonyoung had never look better than this, his face wasn’t as pale as when he locked himself in the cold room. His hair was nicely styled—simple, but suited him well—and that grey hair matched his complexion very well. For awhile, Wonwoo forgot what he was about to say until Soonyoung brought him back with a call. “Sorry, I dazed out a bit.” He coughed awkwardly as they break the gaze and the older can feel the tingling feeling at the bottom of his abdomen,  _he really should stop being mesmerized by Kwon Soonyoung._

“It was a disorder when someone hardly can remember the new things you learn.”

“Such a disorder exists?” Wonwoo chuckled bitterly, of course it did exists. He was the living evidence of God’s horrible imagination to ruin its human’s life. But he didn’t resent God for that, sometimes his dishevels helped on certain times, like when he found new books and never read it. He will read the books and will forget the whole content in less than a week that led to him re-reading everything again and it was fun.

Soonyoung’s face softened and his orbs dilated hearing the short, yet painful past. His heart clenched in an uneasy way, somehow suffocated him though they were in an open space like right now. Tears brimmed at the tip of his eyes—there was this guilt inside his heart eating him alive and left him no room to escape;  _ungrateful, selfish, sinful_ —a lump in his throat stuck and won’t let him speak further. “Does that mean, you will never remember me? When we parted? How about your past?”

“I barely can even remember my past either. Just the recent five years? The accident damaged my brain a lot and I was in vegetative state for several months. But I eventually survive anyway.” He paused, looking down at his book and flipped the pages as he tried to remember all the things he encoded with his best effort after the accident. “Things doesn’t go well with University and dad was in a serious ill, our family…it fell apart.” Emotions engulfed him but he pushed himself not to cry, he can’t even remember how did his family torn and left with nothing but pains and hatreds.

His family did fell apart after his father died. His mother suicide from too much pressure, he didn’t aware of how much stress his mother took in to herself. That time he was very selfish by locking himself in the room, killing the time to calm down his nerves and shaking emotions, being pathetic and undeserved. The next thing he knew everyone left him. Because of that, he decided to follow his father’s will. Going to the house and knew more about his father’s past life was the only choice he had back then, the only place that will accept the imperfect Jeon Wonwoo. The useless Jeon Wonwoo. The inspirited, unhappy, incapable of anything Jeon Wonwoo.

That small almost burnt paper saved his life. He was glad he found it hidden under the old bed of his parents. It was in a box with old blurry picture from constant aging; maybe was about fifty years ago. His father and some children with bright faces, he remembered the name behind it if he wasn’t mistaken was Ms. Park’s name. “Ms. Park, her name is Park SooAe right?” he didn’t look at the younger male but notice the reaction from the other. “Her name was written behind the picture along with the letters from her to my dad.”

“Yunho did send us a lot of letters back then. Including you graduation picture.” Soonyoung replied. They looked at each other and Wonwoo sighed. “I look bad in that picture I can’t believe he sent that.”

Soonyoung chuckled. “You look good though, just a little bit thinner and paler compare to now?”

“Am I that thin before?”

“Yeah, you gained a lot of weight and some color to your skin. Maybe a bit tan because you’re outside most of the day.”

“Thanks to those brats, but I guess I do like my current self better. I start to learn to appreciate my own effort. Also,” He scooted closer to Soonyoung closing the gap between their thighs. “I found great friends who accept me with all my weirdness.” His lips drew a soft smile prompting the other to smile back, with a hint of blush. “You are a great person Wonwoo. You’re not nosy and annoying like—Mingyu?” He chuckled then looked back at the children still busy running around the yard, animatedly didn’t lose their strength and energy to stop. Youths were fascinating to him.

“That’s great to know,  _but I hope we’re more than that_.” he whispered back.

 

IX.

  
He remembered it wasn’t his birthday that day. “My birthday is on July what are you doing here Soonyoung?” The said male grinned as he opened his eyes with a party hat and popper on his hand, successfully woke the taller male with the loud pop at eight in the morning.

“Don’t you remember what day is it today?”

“What day? Thursday? Wait that was yesterday.” Wonwoo squinted his eyes, trying to adjust his view from the direct sunlight hitting his face. Soonyoung pouted, sitting back with an amused look and folded both of his arms as he pursed his lips. It took the dark haired male to comprehend the whole situation and looked around; Kwon Soonyoung with cute bed hair sticking out through the party hat, still on his favorite pajamas looking less much of discontented by his soul-less reaction.

The sudden jolt of thrill, surely unreal to him but he can feel the weight above his hips and lower half of his body from Soonyoung. He gave the other a bashful look, trying to tell himself not to overreact that will made everything awkward. Eyes glimpsed down,  _shit, not now junior_! He hushed and slapped himself mentally then looked up back at the peculiar boy. “Why are you sitting on me?” Voice slightly shaking, but that wasn’t the problem. He was nervous, as fuck, in all honesty their position was already very awkward to him in the first place.

One, why was Soonyoung sitting on him?  
  
Two, what made Soonyoung sit on him?

Three, he can’t even remember what day it was but Soonyoung seemed pretty excited.

“Wonwoo, you know you’re speak out your thoughts right?” Soonyoung giggled, the annoyed look disappear from some time ago. The excitement of celebrating a certain day took over his thought. It was an important day for Wonwoo— _and him_ —today.

Wonwoo coughed, embarrassed from getting caught on speaking too loud when he was supposed to keep it as self thoughts but what had done was done. “Today is your thousandth day! Don’t you remember that?”

“Huh? What? I didn’t even—“

“I told you about it a week ago!”

Wonwoo stared and sighed at the silver haired man. “You know I can’t remember certain things more than five days.” Soonyoung gaped and gave him a grimace. “Right, I forgot about that. But anyway! It’s still your thousandth day, let’s go party!” The older male chuckled, watching Soonyoung jumped from his place down to the floor and ran down to the first floor making sounds to wake the others up. He could hear the kids were complaining on how loud he was.

❀

They did end up celebrating his thousandth day coming to the house in a very simple celebration—a good lunch with everyone and all the foods were his favorite. Ms. Park, Soonyoung, and Mingyu happened to plan it since last night and it explained why they were gone for a good four hours leaving him with the kids yesterday evening—aside of how simple and sleek it was he enjoyed it very much. Also grateful, he never actually celebrate anything other than his birthday and it was his first time celebrating a thousandth day since his arrival to the house. He was glad that everyone was contented with his presence and even celebrate it which told how much his presence was appreciated by the household.

He was full and the food was great.  _You’re a great cook_ , he complimented Soonyoung and the male was blushing like no day but Mingyu was the first to complained how Soonyoung almost burn the kitchen if Ms. Park and him weren’t there. He laughed loudly at Soonyoung who was trying to stop Mingyu from unrevealed the whole story how he burnt the last sausage they had and broke the eggs messily.

Both of them were now sitting on Soonyoung’s room, just like usual; on the bed lying, Wonwoo was reading the book he found haply on his father’s old room (which was now his room) whilst Soonyoung was busy looking at the ceiling, hummed nothing that fell like lullaby to Wonwoo.

“I was surprised that we still celebrate important days even in the loop.” Wonwoo said, suddenly out of curiosity when his concentration blurred out from the book and flew back to the lunch a few hours ago. It was simple yet triggering question to some, also him and  _maybe_  Soonyoung. The male beside him stopped his lullaby and clammed up for awhile. “Soonyoung? Are you with me?” Wonwoo snapped his finger in front of the male as he was spazzing out. He was thinking, obviously, trying to figure out what to say but keep forgetting the first word he was about to say. “We do.” Composedly he replied.

“You count days too? Even when we actually only repeat the same day over and over?” The question got more specific. Soonyoung’s answer obviously had to be more precise and witty or the older male will ask more questions and he had to answered all of those questions that he didn’t want to heard of. “Yes. Of course, in a loop what doesn’t change is the time and some other in-fluctuating events, but the rest do change. Like today.” He smiled and Wonwoo returned it with just as wide smile, but unlike his—no reason, was satisfied by his answer. He wished the male would not ask another question. “So, we will stay like this as always, right?”

That caught Soonyoung off guard.

He smiled, this time widely, and nodded. “Of course, we will.”

“That’s great. I’m afraid I will lose you.” This one fluttered Soonyoung. He choked from the short air inside his lungs, coughing like idiots, then chuckled lightly to let the air escaped from him.  
  
Everything about Jeon Wonwoo to him was always surprising and today it didn’t fail him by one bit. Jeon Wonwoo the boring man yet full of surprises, he always looked calm and composed but hid many secrets and amazing stories inside that head. Maybe that was from reading too much, sometimes Soonyoung couldn’t understand what the older was talking about but he enjoyed listening to that deep voice as he talked in excitement about the book he currently read. Soonyoung neither read or liked to read, but hearing his stories enough to tell what was in the book though he didn’t know what the people Wonwoo talked about were look like in real life.

That bona fide gestures and intense gazes, sometimes he wondered how many days left for them to be together like this. He will miss those very much. Every person has their limit, so did Wonwoo and  _maybe soon_  Soonyoung. The loop wasn’t always going to be as calm and safe like right now, to some peculiars the loop was simply an escape journey for them. The life in their era was too harsh and they decided to enter the loop, though some of them might forget their age will catch up with the time as they left the loop. Somehow it reminded him on how those hollow ghasts exist. From the thirst of immortality. But thirst was essential for humans. Peculiars at the end of the day were humans.

“Is there something you wanted to say?”

Soonyoung snapped back to reality ( _mentally chuckling in irony_ ) and looked at the older male. “A-Ah, no. I don’t.”

“Really?”

Soonyoung shook his head, insisting he has nothing to say.  _Though there will be a lot to say and to explain in the future but maybe not now. He wanted to enjoy this a little bit more, let himself drown in his own thoughts and the sweet reality_. “Maybe next time.” He muttered.

 

X.

  
“Ma’am can we go play today?”

Ms. Park looked at the three children by the door. They were all standing with sparkling eyes, full of hope, wanting for at least slight blaring heat from the sun that day. Yet, she couldn’t risk their life for the wish she could grant in the next years. She won’t and stood on her own choice. Wonwoo maybe was right, it wasn’t safe here—for some reasons. She didn’t want to worry anyone and won’t repeat the same mistake. It had been too much for herself.

She noticed the three children were still standing there waiting for her reply. Her expression was clear but Chan had been whining about he wanted to play kite with his brothers as well his birthday was next week, “Let’s go for a picnic on my birthday!” he chirped three days ago and everyone agreed except her.

“Ma’am? Can we?” Jihoon looked at her with hopeful eyes, his voice was soft and small with a slight hint of fear from rejection behind it. She sighed, forcefully pulled a smile and kneeled down in front of her three sons. “I’m sorry dear. Not today, maybe tomorrow?”

Seungkwan and Chan pouted. “But you said that yesterday!” She was lost of reason, it had been a week she tried to keep the children inside. She was frustrated at herself for being unreasonable and useless at a time like this. She needed someone to talk to but she can trust no one; she just didn’t want anyone to know about her worries. “Hey, I know all of you want to play outside. But won’t it rain soon? Look, the sky is turning grey. You will get soak by the rain if you play right now.” The three children looked up and the thunder came along after that with a light thump against the ceiling. They all flinched in fear and hugged each other as the light belted out from the dark clouds and loud sound hit the roof.

Rain poured down right after. It was raining but somehow the temperature didn’t go down along the heavy thunder and storm against the cracking windows of the old house. All of the old house’s residents were sitting in the living room, the children were playing with themselves while the elders were occupied by the piling laundry to be folded. Soonyoung kept glancing at the window just like Ms. Park, as if they were worried for the same thing. “Something’s wrong?” Wonwoo broke the ice between them. Both Ms. Park and Soonyoung looked at each other then shook their head.

“Nothing.” They said in unison. “Really?” He questioned, suspicious by the unified answer from both his housemate and the owner. He was sure they looked uncomfortable and bothered on their seat, but the folding exercise distracted him from asking further. He may did notice but glimpse of weird shadows were appearing before them. At first he thought it was the trees near their house, after all it was a pretty large forest around them.  _But it did bothered him with all the creepy thought he had after what happened to Seungkwan. I didn’t want my life to end up like serial summer horror movies on cheapskate theatre_. Again, maybe it was just him with a little bit worry and hope that it wasn’t what bothered Soonyoung and Ms. Park.

“I’m hungry. Anyone wants tea and pound cake from yesterday?” Mingyu got up from his seat, cracking his waist bone from too much seating and folding.

“Me!” Jihoon chanted. Mingyu chuckled, counted in the younger lad. “Seungkwan? Chan? Anyone else?”

“I want one please,” Soonyoung raised his hand and smiled at the taller male. Wonwoo followed suit without word and Mingyu disappeared from the living room to the hall beside the room.

It took him awhile to come back that it started to worry everyone. Usually they would heard Mingyu knocking something in the kitchen or him humming along as he opened the fridge. The house in the first place wasn’t actually that big. Just enough for seven people living in the house with personal rooms, living room, dining room, and small kicthen set near it. The halls were also considered small, knowing it could only fit about two adults, maybe three if it was the children. “Why isn’t he coming back yet?” Ms. Park asked with a worried tone. All of them shrugged and continued their own tasks.

After about five minutes suddenly they heard the pan fell down and hit the floor. Everyone got up from their seat and was about to check out the kitchen, but the sound of fast steps with thunders at the background drilled their adrenaline. “Shit!” Mingyu loudly shouted from the kitchen and kicked the door open. “Ms. Park this bad! Hurry!” They all stood up and the three children were holding hands in fear.

“Ma’am what happened?” She shook her head and looked back at Mingyu.

“They come, I saw their shadows near the forest at first I wasn’t sure but then the thunder came it showed their shadows clearly!” Ms. Park stood stall, “Oh my god.” She mumbled and hurry handled over the children to both Soonyoung and Mingyu. Wonwoo was frowning at the other side of the room trying to process everything. The lady then took Seungkwan, hugging him tight and went to the window. “Son did you see anything?”

“N-No…I didn’t see them…but I can tell it’s coming…”

Jihoon suddenly cracked a noise and wailed as he hugged Soonyoung’s leg tightly. He chanted to be hugged and the older compiled. They hastily brought the children along with Soonyoung and Wonwoo following behind them. It was still confusing for the newbie but he could understand they were in a very dangerous situation.

They all went to the where the old clock was, though now it was gone. A part of him was glad because it will bring another problem if they hide somewhere near the clock and Seungkwan got possessed like the other weeks before. It was out of his knowledge that they have a lower floor under the storage room they were in. The door was very small and old, disguised into the wooden tiles of the storage room. The small door led them to a pretty spacious place, with very small lighting and a couple of old sofas with rotten screws and almost broke down from termites.

Wonwoo had Chan on his hold as they heard foot steps above them hastily walked and opened the small door. Ms. Park put down Seungkwan from her hold and let Mingyu took the young lad in and then she stepped down with the small steps attached to the wooden wall around them. Sweats glistened her forehead and soaked the back of her old pajamas, she looked very worried and all sorts of prayer came out from the thin-chapped lips. Her face was pale but he could understand, though he was still lost about what was happening.

He sat beside Soonyoung who was rocking Jihoon as the younger sleep. He muttered some incoherent words with melodies, they looked at each other with no words and Soonyoung threw a smile at him. “Later,” he murmured, still busy putting his brother to sleep. Chan was fast sleep on his hold after they sat like that for three consecutive hours, he thought his legs might go numb when he tried to get but didn’t care less as the drowsiness gave in.

❀

“Hey, wake up.” Maybe he was dreaming and all of that was a mere dream but his back felt like going numb the second he tried to move it. “Jeon Wonwoo, wake up.” He opened his eyes hearing the soft voice near his ears, Soonyoung was right an inch above his nose almost blew him to oblivion. He shouted, short, and jumped from his sleeping position straight up sitting and looked at the silver haired male. “Sorry, err…where is everyone?” Scratching the back of his ear, visibly red right now from embarrassment. He wasn’t expecting Soonyoung to blew his ears like that and their faces were extremely close.

It was an awkward silence for awhile, in the very small space, no windows, just a rotten sofa under them they could hear each other’s heavy breathing. Soonyoung stepped away shyly as he walked to the small shabby stair (poorly attached to the wall). Wonwoo coughed, then dashed to the stair as fast as he could wanting to get out of the suffocating panic room.

He knew he was clumsy but never knew he was that clumsy. Their body bumped and somehow he trapped Soonyoung between his body and the wall. He stuttered an apology and backed away from the shorter. He can feel his ears were very hot and probably red, the small lighting at the corner of the room might be somehow saved his face but probably not after they stepped out of the room. It was very awkward; his movement, the atmosphere, just everything when it was just between them and he didn’t realize since when did it happen. His body moves itself at times, and maybe right now. He cursed himself for that.

Soonyoung waited for him above as he climbed back up and gave a hand to pull him up. “Thanks,” he muttered and walked side by side with the male. They stepped out of the room, it was still dark and all the lights were off. He was aware it was still night but the small whispers of the children can be heard—Seungkwan’s inaudible fearful mutters and Jihoon sobs, Chan’s voice was unheard but letting him know their concern on how traumatizing it was.

“So,” he cracked the atmosphere. “What happened? I was slightly lost but everyone seemed to be frightened by something.”

“The hollows.” Soonyoung said. “Ms. Park was a bit worried they might come around this time, last time it was like that too and somehow they really came and took—“ He halted his words as he stopped his steps. Wonwoo stood before the male and looked to his sides, making sure no one was there. He knew how important the information was when Soonyoung looked very terrified like that. Despite the minimum light they had in the hall, he noticed it. “They took one of us and Ms. Park couldn’t get over it for a long time.” He sighed. “Maybe until now.”

“Who?”

“Have you seen our family picture?”

Wonwoo clammed up. He knew what he did miss after a very long time living in the house;  _the family picture_. “I haven’t seen one, Ms. Park told me not to look at the book on the shelf so I never did.”

Soonyoung looked surprise from his words. Maybe, he was then realized he shouldn’t say a word about the incident to Wonwoo. But it was too late, he knew and must listen to the entire story just so he was cleared from curiosity on what was happening sometime before that it resulted to them being in a very alert mode like right now. “His name was Hansol, very young just like the children. He was eaten by the hollows when he came to take in the basket ball he left at the yard.” The younger bit his lower lip and looked away. “Right around this time, harsh storm and thunders. Ms. Park was very mad but Hansol insisted on taking his ball, afraid the storm will blow it up and he will lost it.”

“He didn’t lost his ball, but we lost him.” His voice cracked.

Instinctively, Wonwoo held his hand to calm the other down. Soonyoung put down his head and let a tear escape. He didn’t mean to cry, but that was inevitable. He got emotional remembering things of how hollows ruined their family. Such a despicable living monsters to exists. He resent those monsters very much. The fear grew, he didn’t want to see them and he was glad he can’t see them. But thinking how Seungkwan can see the monsters—aside the hollows but also other livings that invisible—scared him to death.

“Is that what Seungkwan saw? The hollows?”

Soonyoung nodded.

“How about the old clock?” Soonyoung looked up again and erased his tears. “Huh?”

“The clock. He was possessed by I don’t know some creature inside it I guess? It was weird as if he was—“ Soonyoung gaped and cut him off. “Maybe? Seungkwan’s peculiarity is to see everything that doesn’t exist. He can see ghosts and other supernatural creatures. Though, I never heard him say anything about it. Ms. Park said Seungkwan has not yet aware of it and still can’t differentiates which are those the invisibles. But,”

“But?”

Their eyes met. The hall was dark pitch but the moonlight seeping through the window at the corner of hall, bordering the right turn corner of the hall and the door directing them to the rooftop. The silence hung loose around them, frogs croaks and rapid movements of the apple tree branches against each other outside their house filled the emptiness.

 _He is lying_. Wonwoo deeply thought. He didn’t know why would he think so but there must be a reason. Why Soonyoung lied to him and How he knew it was a lie. “Vernon.” Wonwoo murmured the english name with much less of knowledge how to properly pronounce it. He didn’t major or expert in english, so the name fell of just like normal Korean would pronounce it.

  
Soonyoung looked up in surprise, gasping as he heard the name slipped out of those thin lips or the taller male. That jet black hair grew longer and the fringe now almost covered Wonwoo’s small and sharp eyes. The darkness may lit up the hall slightly bit, but he still couldn’t make out Wonwoo expression. His voice sounded flat and monotone as he called the very familiar name. Vernon.

  
Another deepened silence engulfed them. They looked at each other once again. Wonwoo can see the pain and the harsh tears glistened those beautiful orbs. Just why did he lie, he mentally asked himself, and what is this. Like he was a mind reader (somehow Wonwoo felt very funny right now, he would crack joke right there but the atmosphere didn’t support him). Nothing happened as they look at each other, it was a fail attempted but Wonwoo was sure he was either hallucinating or he really did see something beneath those orbs. But it took him several seconds after he failed to figure out the one second confusedness as a pain shot through the back of his head, like a magnet the gravity pulled him down to the ground.

  
The pain was unbearable. He hissed as the strip of old movies inside his head, screams, laughters, and more uncountable—amusingly familiar—images rushed into his nerves of brain and pushed themselves to the long term memories. It was like his soul was choked and pulled out harshly from his physical form and thrown back like it was nothing. “Shit.” He murmured, Soonyoung kneeled down in front of him with panic expression but was blanked out on what to do. The latter was about to run down and called for help but Wonwoo held him from telling anyone.

  
“No, I’m fine.”

  
_And I need to know what are you trying to hide from me._

XI.

He barely could take a peaceful sleep after what happened. It had been a week and he still couldn’t get over what encountered him. Not that he was growing a trust issue over someone he had fully trust, but things were like missing puzzles. He wanted to know but at the same time his cowardly side told him not to find out deeper. He knew the risk of finding out the truth, it will be very bitter but he still didn’t know to what extent. He wanted to know, if that meant he will have to break the promise and rules he himself agreed on the first day he came in.

Ms. Park didn’t stress enough to him how much she didn’t want him to touch the bookshelves but at least he didn’t break a rule; running in the halls. Everything was pitch black just like their usual night, he brought a small lamp from his desk (excuse that, he didn’t even know he will need that unused flashlight from the cancelled campfire he had on school days). The bookshelves were built up from a sleek mahogany woods, smelled like old books and he loved old books.

He looked around making sure no body was there to watch and snitched him to the house lady, though he never actually broke the rule or saw the lady got mad at him or the other two older sons in the house. All the books had pretty simple cover with some writings on the side and some were don’t. He brought the light closer to the books and read the writings on it one by one, maybe he would find something interesting.

A pretty thin book with glossy black hard cover caught his eyes. He didn’t plan to pick up any nameless book but the book urged his interest. It looked certainly familiar to him but his brain was dying from recalling the uneven and ripped memories inside his head. His head was big but never actually contained anything important than his imaginations over his book—maybe Soonyoung when he was bored.

It felt rough and not actually glossy like it seemed like. All the glitters on the cover was too much for his liking, definitely too luxurious for a book. His fingers traced the sides of it, trying to recall. The book was too familiar that it was weird he can’t remember it, but even weirder that he felt like so. The tip of his fingers hooked and dragged the corner of the book, carefully flipped it open like it was a very fragile matter. Eyes scanned on the landscape pictures on the first page. A sign at the bottom of the page was the most interesting sight from all the emptiness of the front page. He breathed, “Dad’s sign.” He murmured.

He didn’t expect much about the next upcoming pages, but it successfully surprised. Old pictures in grayscale, arranged carefully and with love on the second and third page. The four pictures of the whole family; Ms. Park was in the center with her light blue dress (same model, maybe she had wore it for years), all the three children and another—again—a familiar face, “Maybe this is the hansol boy?” He stared at the boy for awhile. He had a mix-race appearance, a very beautiful child. His heart clenched at the thought how an unknown creature murder him brutally in front of their family.

Weirdly he stared at the picture for a longer time. Out of all the four family picture the last one had the best quality. He could see everyone’s face clearly with no blurs including Hansol’s face. Sometime was hooking him to look at the boy more, it was unknowingly become an urge to look for more pictures of the younger male. He flipped hastily and looked for another and bigger picture of the lad.

“Ah—“ it came back. He wondered if it was the symptoms of his disorder came back. The migraine and weird hallucinations kept coming at him on random time since that day when Soonyoung told him about Hansol. He called himself crazy for making up theories and some conspiracies of the things he might had known before but couldn’t remember due to the major injury on his brain.

Eyes closed for awhile, he rested his head down on the shelf in front of him. It felt real but everything was inside his head. Wonwoo felt so much relation and weird connections to the hallucinations inside mind, like it wasn’t simply a hallucination.

Like a plotted and well-made phantoms and he saw Hansol was there, just like in the picture on his lap. Those wide smiles and loud chuckles as he called for his name. He ran and Wonwoo chased the boy—no, they were playing soccer. Wonwoo gasped and another vivid illusion hit him and it was another whole story,  _“You will go? Then can you send us letter? Every months?”_  A chuckle left from his lips,  _“Alright, I will.”_

He opened his eyes wide. All the muscles holding his eyeballs were tiring as he his eyebrows knitted and hands moving in a fast speed looking at all the pictures inside the album. Burnt, burnt, burnt! He frowned. All the pictures with a certain person will always have a burning remnant. The trace mostly on the side and left out the picture with a person with long legs and old t-shirt. “As if, someone tried to get rid of his appearance and not letting anyone to see the face— _me?”_

 _Jeon Wonwoo stopped pretending as if everyone was trying to hide everything from you_ , he reminded himself. Yet everything felt like so, ironically.

His fingers didn’t stop flipping the album back and forth, looking for something uncertain that he certain need to know about the house. Maybe something surprising, but he hoped it wasn’t something terrifying. He stopped on the last four pages. He passed all the children’s and Mingyu’s pictures. Soonyoung’s was left. He looked at it a little bit longer than the others. Soonyoung in marine clothes, his cheeks were chubby unlike his current self, and also his hair was dark. He looked very bright that it made him smiled as he looked at the pictures one by one. He could say himself that he was in a very perilous situation. Falling for someone decades older than you, in their younger state and much less only certain months after his legality. It was even more ludicrous the person was a male. He was used to hold in his feelings but when he did, it will just mess things up inside him.

“I guess I’m really gay. Seriously, but Soonyoung is so—“ He shut himself and looked around him making sure his loud voice didn’t woke anyone’s up.

“Hyung?” His heart jumped the moment he saw the small figure right behind his shoulder. “Jihoon!” he whispered as he scolded the younger male.

Jihoon grinned in defeat and sat beside the older male, looking through the stack of books Wonwoo pulled out from the shelf with the only light they had from the desk lamp, awkwardly sitting beside the taller male’s lap. “Hyung. what are you doing?” Wonwoo rolled his eyes to make up excuses while his hands were busy putting back the books to the shelf. “N-Nothing.” Jihoon glowered at his older brother and nudged him. “Ha! You’re stuttering, you must be lying.” He folded his arms and rested them on his chest proudly catching his brother red handed sneaking out from his room.

Wonwoo sighed in annoyance. “What are you doing here anyway, weren’t you supposed to be asleep?” Jihoon gaped and puffed his cheeks. “Because you’re so loud you know! Especially when you said Soonyoung-hyung is—-hmphff!” The older male cupped the younger’s mouth with his hand muffling to toned down the loud voice.

“Shut up kid.” He looked back at Jihoon with a glaring look. “And don’t tell Soonyoung about that.” Jihoon smirked giving the older a smug look. He motioned a zipping gesture to his lips and had himself sitting beside the older.

“What are you searching for hyung? I can help you to find the book, I have read all the books in this shelf!”

“Really? Can you show me books maybe—“

“Soonyoung-hyung’s album photos? We have tons of it since mom Park kept taking his pictures, she said he is photogenic and very cute, though I still have the most pictures compare to him.” He said proudly, Wonwoo rolled his eyes and sighed. “Not that kid. A book maybe about hollows? Or history books about peculiars?”

Jihoon looked at him amusingly. Somehow the hall suddenly engulfed in silence, awkward enough, Wonwoo broke the silence. “Just go to sleep if you don’t know about it.” He shrugged the younger male aside but Jihoon insisted to stand on his spot. “No! I know a book about that, but it’s on a very top of the shelf.” He pointed out at a very thick book with corny design on the side with dark color making it looked like some kind of a black magic spell book. He stood up and took out the book from the shelf, Jihoon sat beside him putting his small palm on the cover and flipped the pages as if he had read the book many times.

Wonwoo watched Jihoon flipped all the pages filled with chinese characters. His head suddenly felt dizzy from all the writings, he can read chinese characters yet sometimes old books tend to use hard vocabularies and his brain tended to burn from all the hard thinking. Jihoon stopped flipping the pages as it reached an empty page in the middle of the book. He hid himself behind the taller’s back and whispered to him, “It was the scariest part when I read the book with Soonyoung-hyung and Seungkwan, the monsters.”

It was at least ten decades old drawing, showing how classic the defining on the so-called ‘hollowgasts’. He read all the content making sure he understood the whole thing, though it was an helplessness but at least he could start memorizing it if he read the book every night. After all he felt like the disorder started to get rid of him, he can remember new things in the new environment despite the efforts he had to put.

“Wights?”

Jihoon looked at the book and flinched. Rather than a whole page of writings and picture it was mostly content of pictures attached and some old news papers. Little circles and scribbles whatnot were all over the place, Wonwoo observed each faces on the page carefully. He felt no one was familiar unlike when he saw the family album, these people looked strange all the novel faces somehow didn’t triggered the illusions to come back. “They have no eyes.” Jihoon whispered, still hiding behind him as he grabbed on to his pajamas with his small fists.

He did notice their eyes, no pupils and entirely white. Strange, he wanted to know more about the wights but the book didn’t provide anything that explained them but he knew, they were dangerous people. There was a thought to ask about them further to Soonyoung, but he doubted the male would say anything to him. He hid one thing from him and he was pretty sure wight was another thing the younger male hid from him. One thing that he didn’t understand, why would anyone want to tell him and instead hid these from him?

XII.

That night he knew everything would collapse before his eyes. The pain was bearable but pain was a pain.

He finally could fall asleep peacefully that night, but getting into the first three hours the loud scream woke him up. It was unfortunate of him that his room was on the second floor. Soonyoung and Mingyu knocked his door in panic and he opened it with half-awake. “Just come!” He sense came back to a normal state as he entered the panic room. Everyone was terrified and suddenly it was very quiet outside. There was a thrilling notion when all of them sit still at the corner of the room. He wrapped his long arms around the children, making sure they were in a safe place.

“Can someone tell me what was going on? I just woke up from a three hours sleep so I’m a bit confused here.” Mingyu nudged him as he sat beside the older male. “The wights.”

“The wights? They—“

Mingyu nodded furiously, his face was pale and all the color from his skin like it was drained out. Cold sweats glistened the latter’s forehead and his body trembles yet he tried to stand strong protecting the children. “And hollows.” Wonwoo frowned. Mingyu yelped as Soonyoung hushed him from talking loud— _and too much_ —and maybe he was really started to get over the disorders, it did wonder and he clearly could remember all the content from the book after a week trying to memorize and re-read it every single night.

There was a pregnant silence, Wonwoo was frowning with his brain associating each informations he had learnt. It was confusing but that was the part he should solved. The confusedness was what he was trying to figure out, there were too much of intermittent events that led him to dead-end.

He pondered for a quite long time. It was probably five in the morning, but his brain surprisingly worked really well.  _But the book said hollow can’t get into loops_ , he mentally noted. The wight was reasonable but not the hollows, things were off and he might had missed certain informations as he searched.

“Do the hollows really come?” He asked, all eyes retorted to him. Ms. Park looked at him with vigilant look. Mingyu gulped down and looked at Seungkwan who was nearly in tears from the fright. “I saw them behind the trees…” Seungkwan murmured, “Also a weird uncle with white eyes…”

Soonyoung pressed to his side and whispered. “We can’t see any of the—” Their eyes widened.

The heavy steps above them were an omen to danger. Reflexively held their breath, all of them were praying for none of the hunters will ever notice them down there. But then again the hunters had never been too stupid for them. They can tell they were in a urge to get caught when the wight stepped on the vacuous wooden floor. The sound echoed through the spacious storage room and their breathing sounds suddenly perceptibly loud.

They all stared at the small wooden door at the other corner of the room, nobody dared to make a sound until the door flung and let the cold wen through it. They should have known about this but this scene was out of calculation when panic attacked them. The wight was too familiar to be true. All the children shrieked as the wight grinned wickedly at them. “So here is my lovely sons? Long time no see and oh—who’s this young man right here?”

Wonwoo gulped nervously, gripped stronger around Chan and Soonyoung as the wight looked at him in the eye. “I can’t believe this! Jeon Wonwoo!” The wight laughed in a very villainous way. Orbs dilated in bewilderment, he was dumbstruck in disbelief. All the painful anamneses surged into his brain like a bullet train. Lungs contracting brought suffer to his entire being.

Out of people he encountered in real life. May or not may he remembered them, he wished the man in front of him—the wight—was somebody else he had met but didn’t remember. But God was testing him, how the reality unfolded before him ripping his heart and soul apart. World was cruel, he knew but never knew it was to this extent. “D-Dad…you’re not dead?” his voice shook, his body, and his sanity. It can’t be true.

His father who he thought was dead had never been deceased. Now he regretted on asking God everyday to bring him back to life. He was no more wanted to meet his father, more over in his actual appearance.

Ms. Park shielded them trying to stop the hollow and the wight to reached any of her son. “Soo Ae, it’s useless. I told you I will come back for you right?”

“I know. But I told you I won’t let that happen.”

Yunho, the wight, burst into a fit laughter. These weaklings were a pain in the ass to him. Withal his own son was now against him, looking at him in disbelief. “Jeon Wonwoo what are you doing here? You’re not the peculiar.” He walked closer to them and they were stepping back at every inch the wight was closer. “You don’t belong here.” he whispered.

Wonwoo matched his eyes with the old man. He frowned, brain was still processing on what was happening. “Why don’t I? What if I’m the peculiar?” He threw the gauntlet at his own father, he didn’t care anymore. The old man laughed once again, turning around and gesturing the invisible to walked in. Seungkwan was hiding his face on the Soo Ae’s neck, sobbing as the monster was visible. “They really have tentacles ma’am.” he whispered in fear, Ms. Park hugged him tightly as her eyes wandered making sure the wight didn’t make a single unpredictable move.

“Jeon Wonwoo. You know you have never been in a loop right? That proves you’re not the peculiar. Only peculiar can enter the loop. Am I right, Kwon Soonyoung?”

He was right. His brain wasn’t playing tricks with him. “Soonyoung,” he muttered. He was right about the loop but Soonyoung was also playing a role in this mind game was an unexpected X factor to him. Soonyoung was that the truth they want to hide from him. None of them can see the hollows except Seungkwan, the latter had been in a mental shock when the hollow came down to the panic room. They were trapped, but none of them were giving up their lives for the wight.

Mingyu felt a rough surface on his back. Now that why he didn’t think of that. The panic room had two doors; one to the storage room the other one was leading them to a secret tunnel to the warehouse meters away from their house. It had been awhile since he played around the tunnel but he trusted his brain to take the right course with the several other tunnels leading to other places. He waited for the wight to step forward, he looked at Wonwoo who was holding onto the chair beside him. He handled Chan to Mingyu and looked back at the door knob behind the younger male.

 _One_ , “Let’s end this game and come with me Ms. Park. Join me.” The wight reached out his hand to Ms. Park.

“No, I’m not going with you. Immortality is not something I have interest on.”  _Two_.

Soonyoung glanced at the older male beside him. Wonwoo had been signaling him to stay still and followed his eyes to Mingyu. The three older males looked at each other and waited for the right time.

 _Three_.

Wonwoo threw the chair on his hold to the wight and Mingyu opened the door in hurry. Mingyu and Soonyoung took the lead. Wonwoo followed suit and Ms. Park was running as fast as she can to fetch on the younger lads. The wight shouted at the hollows and followed the children. Despite their invisibility Wonwoo could hear their footsteps with all the water sipping and dripping through the uneven foundation of soils around him.

“This way.” But Mingyu halt his steps. “Hyung…why do I feel like—“ A harsh pull dragged Chan to the other side of the tunnel. Mingyu tried his best to reach out. The hollows caught his brother and he barely can see them. He hissed as he tried calm his nerves down, his peculiarity was a bit useless at this kind of time but he hoped it worked. He stood still, putting out all the power he had left in his body and the water beneath them moved. Silver balls extracted from the water and assemble into a long sturdy bat. “Bring it on you shitty head. I’m gonna take my bro back.” he muttered.

“Hyung they’re on your left!” Seungkwan shouted from afar, he was still at the fork of the tunnel. Before Mingyu could look away a sleek muscle gripped onto his arm and pulled him further into the tunnel, no one would expect the hollow would be so powerful. All of them at the fork were too fearful to reached both lads on the hollows’ grip.

Seungkwan turned his attention behind them. “Mom, they’re coming.” Ms. Park steady herself and run as fast as she can. Soonyoung took the lead with Jihoon on hid hold. The tunnel was getting darker as they run further, it was endless and each of them started to lose their energy. “How far is it?” Wonwoo sighed as he slid down on the ground. His legs gave out the second he sat down, all the fatigue were drained out of his metabolism. At least the constant chasing the children trained him to had a higher threshold.

“I don’t know, I just remember if we follow this tunnel it will lead us to the warehouse.”

“That old warehouse?”

“Yeah, why?”

“That place stinks as fuck, oh god, I can’t take this anymore.” Soonyoung giggled as he patted on the older’s shoulder.

Their rest wasn’t last long until they heard Seungkwan whimpered. They look around in desperation but everything was too dark around them. “Seungkwan can you see them?” The latter shook his head, it was too dark that even Seungkwan couldn’t see the hollows. It felt like they were in a monster’s nest, about to escape but they have no option left except running endlessly. Jihoon cringed and hugged Soonyoung tighter, “Hyung, I can hear them. They’re close.”

It was suffocating down there. The heat rises up from the ground and oxygen was thin, not enough space for them to breath. Every step they took was full of risk, they won’t ever know where the hollows were. They could only heard their groans echoing through the tunnel. Dead mice were all over the small path, it stunk the further they go but it was better than facing an invisible monster with horrible tentacles coming out of their mouth.

Ms. Park stopped abruptly, both the oldest sons looked back. “What’s wrong?” She bit her lower lip as she looked at Seungkwan, Jihoon walked over to the lady and gripped her hand. His face was very pale and smudges of soils made him look dirty. She shook her head and walked pass the taller males. It did a very long journey to an old warehouse, he didn’t even know how far they should go but it was worth it rather than getting hunted down.

Both Soonyoung and Wonwoo were at the very back of the line, slightly meters apart from the other three ahead of them. They didn’t realize how quite it was until Soonyoung coughed. “Sorry,” he muttered. Wonwoo glanced at him with much less a dissatisfaction. “You have a lot of things to explain.”

“I know. Sorry, for hiding things from you.”

Wonwoo sighed and looked to the front of him. He could see nothing, maybe it was a jinx. “Ma’am?” Somehow it was too quite that they didn’t notice the three people ahead of them anymore. It was pitch black and no one respond his call. Wonwoo held Soonyoung’s hand and guide him. “Seems like we lost them. This is bad.”

The moment they walked further a shriek heard. Seungkwan’s cries startled both male and made them run to the source of the voice. Wonwoo screamed for their names but only cries were heard. Ms. Park’s voice was calling for help and they ran as fast as they can. Sweats covered them but no body was there. They never got to reach to where the voice was. It went further and further that it was no more possible for them to chase the three of them.

They looked at each other and almost bursted into tears. Wonwoo got a mental shock from the disappearance and his body shook. It was too much for him to handle and he not yet ready to let go of them. “Hyung..” they heard Jihoon’s voice desperately calling for them. Wonwoo and Soonyoung walked further into the tunnel followed the echoic call from the young lad. Jihoon was there, they can see him from a far. His silhouette dimly appeared before the darkness. Wonwoo tried his best to look further. A small palm reaching for them as the child attempted to crawl out of the dark tunnel.

It was so close yet far. They were only few meters away from the lad. Yet they were not as fast to save him. The hollows were more frightening in the dark. Their growl brought thrill down to their spine. Jihoon cried as he was pulled back and disappear within the dark. Soonyoung felt the presence of the creatures were closer, he grabbed Wonwoo’s hand.

They ran to the opposite direction as fast as they can. Wonwoo was still in a major shock. Witnessing someone brutally murdered was the worst thing he ever experience. Not in his twenty-five years of life imagining he would seeing such a horrible sight before his eyes. It was unbelievable but the whole plot was more overwhelming. His father and all the betrayal.

XIII.

It was cold as hell. He can feel the tip of his fingers freezing from the cold air. His body bend and break, wasn’t sure if he was still alive or he was currently a wandering soul at the moment. The thin pajamas didn’t help to warm him up, but he eventually decided to open his eyes and woke up from the thick wooden board beneath him. The familiar stink of dead mice and some other things mixed and ruined his olfactory system. Wonwoo groaned when his head spins, his ears droned and his feet barely could step on to the ground and stood himself still.

After minutes passed he forced himself to get out of the warehouse. The stink was unbearable, he never liked it whenever he was asked to take the grass cutter on their cleaning day. He would just sighed with the children following him to the warehouse and they will squealed when the hideous scent spread out of the door. Ah, right. No more children, it was over. His heart clenched and contracting in the most painful way he ever suffered from. His head was throbbing but the pain was not enough to cover up how much regrets he had.  _He could have save them but he can do nothing to protect them._

Barefoot, he kicked the door open and left the warehouse. The land was wet and snow piles on both sides on the path he walked down through, some were even blocking his way. He didn’t care anymore, it wasn’t like he was alive or not will make a difference. A piece of him was broken, the feeling of devastated came up again like a couple of years ago. It felt like a dream that turned into nightmare but it felt too real.  
  
_“You don’t belong here, you’re not peculiar.”_

It slapped him back to reality. He wasn’t a peculiar, he was never been in a loop. How long has it been since he came? Two years? Three? At those all time he didn’t realize how much he aged. He chuckled in amusement, also in so much sarcasm.

The thought of he was not a peculiar felt bitter. If just he was then he would have made a difference. His father was not just a peculiar, but also a wight. That was ironic how he got fooled for the entire life only to found out his father was anything but wicked man who was full of himself and brutally murdered children for his own satisfaction. A part of him felt sinful, if he wasn’t the wight’s son or if he didn’t come to the house, he won’t have to led every one into a catastrophe like this.

He looked up to the house, it was half destroyed. One side was almost fell down to the ground, barely held itself and other half was still in a good condition. His room wasn’t yet destroyed, maybe his father left a chance for him to pack and left. But he didn’t want to leave, not until he properly bid goodbye to the household. However, no one was there left. “Except, Soonyoung.” He muttered.

Door opened revealed the dark and messed up house. Tables were flipped and sofas were ripped. The large family picture they put awhile ago, with him in it, fell down from the wall and torn into pieces. Glasses were broken, scattered around the floor. Wonwoo straight up walked up stairs. He had no one in mind except Kwon Soonyoung, his last hope. He had no one left after his family died except the peculiar children. They were his new family, the new house who accepted him with all the flaws he had. Now nothing was left from them, but Soonyoung was still there with him.

He gulped down as he saw the door half opened. He could hear soft sobs spilling from the slit of the wooden door. It was Soonyoung’s voice, a part of him was glad the male was alive but another part of him was worried. “Soonyoung?” he called as he opened the door.

The male was sitting on the bed with still the same bedclothes. Tears streamed down and wet his pale cheeks. His lips breathed out cold air, sobs spilled, and he sounded like choking. The latter’s eyes widened as he saw Wonwoo by the door. Wonwoo looked around the room, a rope hung on the ceiling drooped in the air with a chair underneath, he frowned. A pile of clothes covered in blood and some seeping to the floor, dried up.

“Wonwoo…what…”

“Soonyoung, don’t tell me you—“ Soonyoung stood up and picked up all the clothes. “Leave, I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Wonwoo walked further but the latter stepped backward. “I told you to leave!”

“Then tell me what’s going on!” Soonyoung jumped, startled from the suddenly loud scold. Wonwoo didn’t look one bit amused, he still had a lot of things to be explained and yet not forgot his promise to the older male. He started crying again, at this rate he might cry bloods. Tears blurred up his vision and he fell down on the floor.

No matter how much he resent Soonyoung for what happened to him he had no heart to watch the male suffer. Soonyoung breathed heavily and started coughing blood. He hurriedly strolled to the male and held him up to the bed. He must had definitely over the heels for Kwon Soonyoung. So much hatred and resentments inside didn’t stop him from mesmerized by the male—pale skin and those red lips, like he was from fairytale—he squeezed the smaller’s hands and made them look at each other.

Soonyoung was still sobbing, too overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start. “Your disorder is your peculiarity.” Soonyoung spoke up with shaking voice. Tears brimmed at the tip of his eyes, carefully, slid down to his cheeks. They were puffy and red from the cold weather, looking soft as the falling snow outside the window. Wonwoo was dumbstruck, entirely confused. Everything was confusing to him that he didn’t know which one is the truth. His amnesia, his schizophrenia, he was hardly to believe on his own mind and it was painful.

He held his breath for awhile when everything was spinning around him. The weird visions were coming back like it was going to eat him alive. He was scared, because he was a coward but also he didn’t want to hurt anybody. He didn’t want to know the past but Soonyoung opened the door to the misery he never wanted to face anymore. “What—do you mean?” His veins strained as his muscles flexed, contracting at every jolts of retreating imageries.

“It has never been an amnesia,” the dark blue orbs shook, “neither a schizophrenia or whatever disorder they told you about.” His voice was shaking. Soonyoung was afraid of what will come next, he knew it will hurt Wonwoo even more but his heart couldn’t bare the pain anymore.

He had trapped both of them in the covetous loop for too long, his body couldn’t take it any further and it will collapse anytime soon. But again what happened was out of his league. He didn’t know and never thought of anything like this would eventually encountered him back. Soonyoung thought he would have the entire authority to his own deed, but what was surprised him more; he had never been in this alone, Wonwoo unconsciously helped him.

If he knew all along Jeon Wonwoo was stronger than him, he would have prevent the older male from meddling with his endeavor. He wasn’t aware and too complacent by the illusion he made for himself. No self abstinence was the colossally fault in oneself.

Jeon Wonwoo at the end of the day was the fated deterrent for him. When he thought everything was under his control but the older male would always be the only person who put his implement went vain. He should have known everything was starting to get incongruous when the storm came by and ruined their beautiful summer loop. He didn’t just build an illusion of the loop, but Jeon Wonwoo replayed all the painful past of the loop that laid under his unconscious mind.

The male didn’t notice it, because his peculiarity was innate. It worked itself without his conscience, somehow played with Soonyoung’s sanity upside down. He wasn’t the only main character of the illusion—there was a hidden character that played a major role to the performance and gave you a line of plot twists and drove you mad from too much unexpected truth the raveled before him. He was played, by his own victim.

The lack of awareness was his mistake. He miscalculated everything and forgot the older’s peculiarity that brought out a bigger risk to Soonyoung that he shrugged off the moment he decided to bring both of them and drowned in the sea of memories. Hedonism at its finest, he said. But reality always won against illusion, again to woke him up from drowning any further.

“If just you didn’t saw all my past,” a part of him felt the regret of could not enjoy the fault semblance even more.

His body weakened each day, for years. Rather than hurting himself, it hurt Wonwoo even more. He felt sinful for using his peculiarity to control what he couldn’t. He will never be able to control the time—because he wasn’t the Ymbryne and will never be.

He sobbed the moment his body dropped down. He can feel the hot sensation evaporating through the pores of his skin, it stung like his skin was torn with a sharp blade. He groaned as the power inside him disappearing slowly. He got dizzy from too much power used, suddenly the oxygen around him wasn’t enough to fill in the contracting lungs. It hurt, everywhere, but he didn’t deserve any help. He didn’t deserve anyone to save him, he broke the rules, he was the antagonist to his own story. He deserved this misery.

It was painful, but he had to bare it himself. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

Soft breathes from the taller was heard, the tall figure was holding him close. It burnt the way their skin grazed at each other. Wonwoo watched him with pain in both his head and chest, like something was pulling him back from the deserted deep hole. His body was aching as if he had been awoken for so many years without sleep, the throbbing headache was about to kill him. But he was in a denial of the harmful truth. “But, how? I don’t understand…” They looked at each other for awhile. Wonwoo wiped off the tears staining the latter’s cheeks. “I want to know the truth,” his voice came out hoarse, making him sounded more pathetic than he already was.

Soonyoung looked up still with the tears in his eyes. Hiccups slipped out from the reddish lips as he tried to spoke, there were too much to explain and he was wondering where he should started. Somehow it hit him and brought him back to his own thoughts for awhile, he sinned too much.  
  
He had never learnt, not anyone like Ms. Park whom a radical empiricist. He wanted him back, if that means he will have to sacrifice himself. There wasn’t any law or prohibition to his power. He had this peculiarity not for nothing, even when they had to runaway from the hollow-gasts he couldn’t do a single thing to help with his peculiarity. If his power didn’t effect hollows then it could on work on humans, but would it work on peculiars?

It was out of context, against the nature, and morals—humanity. Soonyoung cared less, he was being hedonistic and mentally weak. He will get what he wanted and there was always a way for that.

 

“All of them; the house, the children, Ms. Park, Mingyu…were all fake.” It was the tip-of-the tongue phenomenon. He couldn’t continue, his inferiority told himself not to speak any further, but Soonyoung couldn’t contained all the misery he had bear alone for years. He wanted somebody to know about it, a place to pour out all of his frustration. The place to confessed all the sins he had done. Maybe, just maybe, Jeon Wonwoo was the right place. In other form of telling the truth he confessed on all his sins to the taller male. After all, Jeon Wonwoo deserved at least an explanation.

Everything was artificial. Soonyoung was a man with mind game peculiarity. He was born to possess every single person to bow down his presence. Kwon Soonyoung was enchanting and his peculiarity supported that. Those who looked at him in the eyes was those who were ready to be drown in a world of uncertainty. They won’t woke up, not until Soonyoung was tired of them. Like casting a spell, Soonyoung was resented by many people for doing magic. He never possessed them by his will, they were the one who gave themselves to him.

The first time he came to the house was when he was ten years old. Soonyoung was fifteen back then. They were both new children in the house and everyone was welcoming them with open arms. Soonyoung felt like he was accepted for who he was, but that didn’t last long. He knew he will eventually hated his own peculiarity no matter how much he wanted to cherish it. Ms. Park kept telling him it was okay but he wasn’t okay with that he did to everyone.

He thought nobody will be his friend, because nobody can bear looking at his eyes for too long. It will just bring them pain, but Jeon Wonwoo was different.

There will be always a cure to every sickness, was what his mother always told him. If his peculiarity was a sickness then Jeon Wonwoo was the cure. He was the only living person who didn’t get possessed by him, at least when he used his peculiarity. Wonwoo was this hidden power to read somebody’s past and Kwon Soonyoung had the power to rewind that past as an illusion. That was what he did to Wonwoo.

There have never been any intention for him to rewinded his own past, he thought he rewinded Wonwoo’s but he was wrong. Jeon Wonwoo was stronger than him after he left the loop. After Yunho took him out of the loop for the sake of his safety (it was a lie, Yunho was planning to use him for his experiment). Soonyoung knew what was going on after Yunho brutally murdered the house. He saved Wonwoo for getting murdered and took him for granted, it wasn’t a revenge because he was always want the male to be back as his friend.

Wonwoo stared back, eye dilated and back to normal. “Is this still part of the illusion?”

Soonyoung shook his head and buried himself in the pile of cold covers of his bed. Wonwoo saw the rope hanging on the ceiling. It started to build up inside his head, one by one the puzzle was formed and he was no longer confused. He was expecting the old memories burying down came out and took over him, but it didn’t. At one time he was confused but he was also disappointed that the good memories were left and he will never be able to remember it.

“I’m satisfied with all of this. You can go now, I’m sorry for doing this to you. Please just leave.”  
Wonwoo stalled, looking back at the smaller male. He was weak and needed his help. He wanted to reach out his hand and helped the male stood back to his place. “I can’t leave.” Soonyoung chuckled. “Stubborn as ever. Don’t you hate me now? I ruined your life, I lied to you, even worse making up all the things and used my peculiarity to deceived you for my own satisfaction?”

They both went silent. “As much as I felt betrayed, I can’t hate you.”

“No stupid, you should and must have hated me right now. What are you talking about?”

“Is this still part of the illusion? You haven’t answered that.”  
  
“N-No…it ended, I have no power left…”

And things got mixed up inside his head. At time he felt a purge and hot air at the pit of his stomach crept up to his esophagus. He grinned like a mad man, maybe he was really mad. So many things going on and he thought he went crazy from it. Soonyoung said his disorders were never been disorders, maybe it was true except he developed some kind of schizophrenia and hardly can differentiate reality and hallucinations. But the time he looked at Soonyoung, he knew it was real. It was crystal clear and it might be him seeing the past at the back of Soonyoung’s head.

He looked back at Soonyoung who was now covering himself with the thick duvet. “I saw you there, the fire. You were at the fire. So you survived?”

“How did you know about the fire..” Silence. “Everyone’s dead. I’m the only one alive.”  
  
“Wait—What shit, you’re not part of my hallucination? I thought I develop another disorder oh god.” He chuckled. Soonyoung was real, this was real. Him sitting in a cold tiled room, a beautiful man in front of him terrifyingly looked at him. His eyes screamed of fear and wanted of death.  
  
“And you want to kill yourself, why?” The silver haired male looked away. He had been wanting to kill himself after the murder took place. He was alone and nobody he knew left in the world. He didn’t know where his parents were, maybe dead, maybe living happily with their other son. Though, he didn’t remember having a little brother but anything possible to happen as long as he wasn’t there. He was bitter with the sad truth.

“Everyone’s dead, so what’s the point of living? You’re going to leave anyway. So I will be alone again. I would rather die than living a pathetic life like this.”

He wasn’t expecting that to come. Wonwoo drew his hand and pulled the smaller closer to him. Soonyoung yelped and blushed as their faces were only an inch close. “Don’t kill yourself,” pulling him in a tight hug and placed his face on the crook of the younger one’s. He was being unreasonable to himself but that wasn’t the problem anymore. This mind game was too excessive and he needed a break. Emotion over logic, Jeon Wonwoo wasn’t the man who considered Logic over Emotion anymore. Knowing all the unknown facts he had never know before would not have happened if it wasn’t for Soonyoung.

“S-So,” he pulled back from the hug. It was a bit awkward after awhile. Hugging like that was like a brief moment thing. The mood somehow circulated around them and possessed them—that word was totally over used and started to gave him bad imagery. “That anterograde amnesia shit was fake? I really don’t actually lost my memory?”

The younger fidgeted on his seat. He wasn’t sure how to explain it because things did get complicated after the accident. That was unpredictable events and out of his calculation as he was planning on everything. “You did. But that anterograde amnesia was…I don’t know, you’re probably doing it with your own conscience. Don’t ask me that! I don’t even understand what was going on after the hollowgasts came.”

Wonwoo chuckled. The atmosphere seemed to melt down as their conversation got light. “You know, you’re pretty stupid for someone who made all of this mess.” Soonyoung pouted, really hard. His brows knitted in annoyance as he threw a light punch on the taller’s shoulder. “Well, I’m sorry for being stupid! But I really don’t understand about you and your peculiarity.”

“So let’s call it I have both anterograde and retrograde amnesia.” Soonyoung looked up, amused at the new words he learnt from the male. He always knew Wonwoo was somewhat a brainiac— _a hot one_ —but he never know how smart the male was. “I can’t remember both my past, either encoding my future—except, I involuntarily recalling several important pasts that may refused to be repressed by me.”

“So?” the younger questioned not even once understood what the latter had been muttering about. Maybe that was because his vocabularies were limited unlike Wonwoo. He hated to read, so he knew less about outside world, yet the older male read even when he was ‘in the loop’ not stopping himself from knowing things and discovering new informations he never had discovered before.

The older gave him a smudged look, which somehow fluttered his heart. He always had a thing on Wonwoo, at first he thought it was just because he was lonely and pathetic. But it grew as they went closer than before. He learnt new things about the dark haired male every day, his new habit, his favorite foods, special books, how he spoke, just literally everything that was new and he had never know it will grow on the male as he was outside the loop.

They stared at each other for awhile. Soonyoung didn’t strongly anticipate anything from Wonwoo despite the look he received. Wonwoo was unpredictable to him, just like the book he read everyday a lot of plot twists but he had a good feeling about it. The thought of suicide was long gone from his thought. The male’s presence encourage him not to do so, Wonwoo after all told him not to kill himself, of course it was for a reason.

“Was falling in love with you also a part of that important memory?”

He froze—Jeon Wonwoo was unexpected, he did mention that but this one was definitely out of his logic—“Wh-What did you say?” Wonwoo grinned widely, putting his palm on top the smaller one’s. Soonyoung was looking at him dumbfounded. Cold weather turned warm, the flower bloomed, and chirps of birds dancing outside the windows was a great melody. He felt like he was dreaming once again. His bottom lip trembled nervously, didn’t want to overreact at the indirect confession. It felt like his heart not just simply skipped a beat but wanted to burst out. Somehow a bit stuffed on his lungs and he got panic, in a good way, he didn’t know how to react on the last sentence. He was confused as well his heart beat too loud against his ribcage. Eyes wandered to the floor and his words stuttered out from his trembling lips.

“I-I don’t know. Don’t ask me that! I-I don’t know….I-I—“

A pair of cold and chapped lips were pressed against the corner of his lips. Eyes dilated in astonishment and things suddenly spin around him. He was on vertigo and his heart couldn’t handle more of this. Vultures were all over his abdomen, making him even more nervous but also questioning,  _what kind of person who would still kiss someone who had deceived him?_

“Me?” He looked back at Wonwoo then shot down his vision to the ground as he felt his cheeks warmed up at the sight,  _did I just say it out loud?_  He just noticed how good looking the older was, he meant, he knew about it all long but he never actually felt any kind of embarrassment when looking at his handsome face. “Should I tell you how you keep talking your mind out loud, Kwon Soonyoung?” He laughed, hilariously watched Soonyoung’s face reddened and hurried to hid himself under the blanket.

“Stop making fun of me!”

But Wonwoo laughed even louder as he reached out his arms and hugged him with the thick blanket covering him. The older was trying hard to shrug of the blanket but Soonyoung was insisting on covering his whole face with it. “What do you say? Hm?” As he stroke his head lovingly, Wonwoo’s hand wasn’t anything warm instead his palms were warmer, but he liked it when Wonwoo patted him on his head. He felt like a different kind of affection showed to him unlike when Ms. Park praised him when he did well or when the children cheered for him in any kind of competition he had against Mingyu.

He pouted and looked at the older, he didn’t know how many time he did that but after their long chat it suddenly felt awkward like their first time when they came into the loop. “I guess I like you too?”

“What’s that you don’t sound sincere.” Wonwoo huffed and pouted at him. “You pout? Wow!” He laughed at Wonwoo’s expression, amazed how the male could sulk at him and acted like a kid. Maybe he did pick it up from the children after all he spent more time with them rather than with him. “Okay fine. I love you! Happy? Stop making fun of me!” He poked the older but Wonwoo slyly looked at him instead, boring hole to his face as he drew them closer. Soonyoung stuttered but pushed him in the end, wasn’t ready for a heart attack.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, not sure of what to do. Wonwoo was wondering what will they do now after this. They had to where to stay, the house was impossible to live on, they don’t have money as well he wasn’t sure how long has it been since they stayed at the old broken house. “So how old are you? And also me.”

“It has been two years since you came. Maybe you’re 27, I’m…32? I don’t know. I don’t have energy left to think.”

“Oh my god. I told myself to get a wife at this age but look at me sitting with—Whoa, wait shit you’re 30? I thought you said you’re 20 two years ago?”

Soonyoung looked at him sheepishly, getting caught on another lie. Maybe he did reveal the whole thing but his age. His ears were turning red from embarrassment but that was inevitable, he never thought of himself in his thirties as he look much less like someone in their twenties. “That—was part of the plan. Sorry,” he giggled earning a pinch on his cheek from the taller. “So I should call you hyung? Or stick with your name?”

“Honestly I prefer you call me hyung.”

“Alright, Soonyoung-hyung then.” Wonwoo then straight up his back and bowed to the male. “Hello hyung, nice to meet you.” Soonyoung giggled and bowed back, feeling a bit stiff and embarrassed about the honorific.

“Nice to meet you to, Jeon Wonwoo.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY SOONWOO DAY EVERYONE HAHAHAHA
> 
> feel free to leave comments about this fic! I would like to know your thoughts about their peculiarities since I don't much explain it in the fic
> 
> thank you for reading<3
> 
> -el


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